Dear Knox: The New Guy

Hey Bud,

So you heard huh?  Well of course you did, I’m positive you had something to do with this. He’s pretty fantastic.  He’s like you in so many ways.  His head and body shape are the obvious – all of his weight is in his chest and head, his lil butt doesn’t compare to the rest of him!  And he’s pretty tall too…just like you.  Oh and handsome!  Duh, that wasn’t a question right?  Handsome boys you two are.

He loves his ball so much!  But not your orange fetch one, he hasn’t met that one yet.  He loves your CUZ ball (that one you and Tyson ripped the feet off?)  LOVES IT.

I can’t believe this toy is still around a year later…that’s a huge feat in this house!

He’s met Tyson who gives his blessing, but I’m sure your laughing up there… thinking of your buddy Ty; who does Tyson not love?!  I know, I know, he doesn’t exactly set the bar high, but it’s good news for us.

Chocko’s a bit anxious…ok maybe more than a bit.  I’m trying to remember if you were in the beginning… you turned into such a confident guy at the ripe old age of 3.  I was proud of you for that; you were kinda a push-over at first 😉 .

I’m hoping he learns to relax a bit… we’re giving him a lot of consistency and stability and hopefully that’ll settle him down some.  He needs to be underfoot all the time, so we’re trying to help him build his confidence in the house… keeping him in a different room where he can still see or hear us but can’t be touching us.  He’s not as bad as you were in the crate when we leave during the day, but I do hear him crying and barking when I lock the door in the morning.  His WIRES are still in tact so he must not be as bad as you!  I can’t believe you went and ripped metal wires off a crate!  Crazy boy.

He would have been a year older than you.  Perfect.  I was so defeated when we lost you… I couldn’t comprehend starting all over again.  I love that he’s four and we are essentially picking up right where we left off with you… He’s a perfect foster-brother in the making.  Of course we’ll give him some stability and not drag in any new fosters just yet, but I know he’s gonna be so great… he’ll make you proud.

But with all your similarities he’s still very different.  His personality is a lot less confident in the house (hoping that will change over time) and he’s pretty timid of Brian (though he also loves him a ton).  It’s different because you know we’d never ever in a million years, hurt you.  Chocko hasn’t completely figured that out yet… and if Brian raises his voice he immediately rolls on his back or pees.  We’re working on it.  He’s also very excitable, just like you were, but is still learning the most acceptable ways to show his excitement… that’ll happen with time too (you took like a YEAR to learn that one).

Well Knox, there isn’t a whole lot else I know about him yet…it’s only been two weeks…but I wanted to say thanks for sending him our way.  I think we were a bit lost without a dog of our own, but until now, we weren’t ready.  I’m thankful we waited.  Five months later and I still love and miss you more than I thought possible.  Everyday I’m thankful for this passion that you brought out of me.  I can’t imagine my life with all of ‘this’…the blogging, fostering, photography, rescue stuff… I owe it all to you and not a day goes by that I don’t recognize that.

Love you, Knox.

Here’s the rest of the letters to my boy, incase you haven’t read them

Dear Knox I, Dear Knox II and Dear Knox III 

26 thoughts on “Dear Knox: The New Guy

  1. So sweet! I’m sure Knox is up there, looking down and smiling. I really do think that sometimes our dogs that we have lost and loved lead us to our next one. I’m so happy for you guys!

  2. I don’t know how you do it, but I admire when you do… Anytime you talk to Knox tears well up in my eyes. I guess its because I know exactly what kind of love it is. It never gets old (nor would I ever want it to) but that Knox love is one in a million.

    Knox, we miss you. We love you because your mom has done a great job at keeping your light in this world alive. Like your momma said… I wish Kona had a chance to meet you. You guys would have been awesome buddies. 🙂 Never gone… just off playing in someone else’s yard for a while.

  3. I’m a bit behind the times … but so happy to hear that you have welcomed an amazing new dog into your life and home. Such a healing thing for you and Brian, and a wonderful new start for all three of you, especially Chocko!

  4. Long time reader first time poster – 

    Oh how I love the letters to Knox. I lost my lovely, perfect, once-in-a-lifetime dog in August of 2011. He was considerably older than Knox and he’d been with us for 10 of those years. So no, it wasn’t exactly a surprise but it still left a cavernous hole in my heart that remains there still. We’ve had a lost many dogs over our 25 years of marriage but none ever left me as devastated as the loss of this particular dog.

    Your letters to Knox never fail to leave me drowning in tears and memories of my own sweet boy. But in an odd way they are sort of happy tears mixed with a bit of bittersweet. See, when I read your letters to Knox it’s clear that they are just as much about celebrating his life as they are about his loss. Somehow your letters seem to give me permission to let go of a little bit more of the sadness and instead simply be happy that my life was graced with such boundless, unconditional love from our special boy.

    Thank you for opening your heart and sharing with the web-world. I can’t be the only frequent but silent reader who has been touched by your loss and your celebration of your own special heart dog.

    • Wow, well that was quite an amazing and humbling first comment (I hope not the last!)

      I’m glad you are finding a bit of comfort. I think these letters were very helpful for my healing… I can smile now, and joke with my boy (yea I pretend we’re just chatting)… It’s very bittersweet and sharing him with you all (who have very openly accepted his wonderful-ness) makes me a bit more inclined to celebrate than wallow in my sorrow… but there ARE days I do that. I hope you continue to let go of the sadness and embrace the bond and love you had with your boy. I truly believe every dog would want it that way.

      Back to that brick… in the pocket… just remembering he is there is a wonderful thing. You will always carry him with you.

  5. So happy you found a new doggie! Chris and Emily (Ivy’s owners) told me about it, we were in Em’s hometown of RI visiting them for Chris’s birthday, he was so excited when he read your post that he told us as soon as we showed up at her parent’s house! Maybe someday Gretchy can meet him!

  6. So glad you found your next ‘heart dog’! As a dogless person who has not yet found the right dog to foster-fail with, I can identify with your search. Enjoy him, and keep us updated!

  7. So happy for Chocko to get such amazing, caring parents. So happy for both of you to feel that “comfort” again. I am sure Knox had his paw in this adoption somehow.

  8. What a lovely post. As always, your posts make me tear up both of sadness and joy. It is beautiful the way you have celebrated Knox. I am certain he is proud and happy that Chocko is in your lives; you guys have so much to give!

    I can’t wait to read more stories and see more awesome pictures of this Chock-full-of-love!

    ~ Liliana

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