Thankful.

Today it’s been a month.  Feels like just yesterday, but also ages ago, that our good boy was relieved from the suffering and went off to the Rainbow Bridge.

I’ve said it before, but through all the terribleness that is loosing a dog, I’ve never been so thankful for support in my life.  It sounds silly, (and if you don’t know this type of loss, I don’t quite expect you to understand– I didn’t get in until recently) but Knox was a part of me that is now gone.  I’m sure it will change and morph into some other love, at some point.  But damn, love hurts.

It just so happens that last night I went out for a few drinks with two good friends who I’ve come to know through all this rescue and dog non-sense (joke…that was a joke).  They are just two of the many people who have shared love, kindness, and support to us through this icky time.

 Look at all the love and support we’ve received through good old US Postal mail.

Just a sample of all the love and support we received through US Postal mail

After some catching up and a few drinks, the friends gave me this adorable little box.

Inside the box, was a necklace.  Not just any necklace.  A special necklace.

It was engraved especially for Knox.  They picked out three words.  They could not have picked three better words.

Happiness

Love

Loyalty

As my eyes started to well with tears (for the record, I don’t cry very often, and haven’t cried much in the past few weeks at all), they told me to turn the necklace over.

Well then I really lost it.  Those are the Coldplay lyrics that I posted on the facebook page moments after Knox left this world.  It was the song I cried my eyes out to, blubbering like a baby on my drive home from work, the Thursday before I knew we were going to end his suffering (the line quoted above – I wanted to be there when he left this world, when my saint, Knox, went marching…) I don’t know what it is about that song.  I know it had no intention of being about a girl who lost her dog…but man, does it hit home for me.

Take a listen… think of my Knox…and incase you’d like to read along, here are the lyrics:

Oh morning come bursting, the clouds, Amen.

Lift off this blindfold, let me see again

And bring back the water, let your ships roll in.

In my heart she left a hole

The tightrope that I’m walking just sways and ties

The devil as he’s talking with those angel’s eyes

And I just want to be there when the lightning strikes

And the saints go marching in

And sing slow-ow-ow-ow  it down

Through chaos as it swirls

It’ us against the world

Like a river to a raindrop, I lost a friend

My drunken as a Daniel in a lion’s den

And tonight I know it all has to begin again

So whatever you do, don’t let go

And if we could float away

Fly up to the surface and just start again

And lift off before trouble

Just erodes us in the rain (x3)

Sing slow-ow-ow-ow it down

Oh Slow-ow-ow-ow it down

Through chaos as it swirls

It’s just us against the world

Through chaos as it swirls

It’s us against the world