How’s Knox?

The question of the month.  I can’t even imagine counting how many times I’ve been asked this question in the past month.  And my heart is grateful to every single person who’s asked.  So, how IS Knox?

Knox is skinny, lethargic and sick.  He’s sicker than I’ve ever imagined he could be.  So sick that sometimes I start preparing for the worst.  But smart and supportive friends have said to just take it one day at a time.  He’s got two weeks (well, 10 days at this point) to turn a corner.

I know he’s fighting hard.  Really hard.  And so are we.  Our boy has gone from a jubilant, energetic boy who would amaze everyone with his speed after a tennis ball…from my running partner, an entertainer for each foster dog that came through the door…a great big muscle-y lug head; to skin and bones.  He gets up only to go for a quick walk or to eat (thank goodness he has continued to do that…).  He’s lost what little fat he had before, and we suspect a whole lot of muscle (thank you, prednizone).  His spine, hip bones, ribs and shoulder blades protrude.

Will he get better?

We have no flippin’ idea.  It’s been an emotional roller coaster to say the least.  Some days I accept that 5 weeks on medications and no progress means, he’s done.  Then I really think about it… and how is that possible?  Just over Christmas he was his normal, happy, (sometimes over) excited self.  In just a few weeks he’s turned into a different dog.  He’s sad; he’d prefer not to cuddle when before, you had to warn guests that a 68lb pile of love would most likely attempt to sit on your lap.  Of course we give him his space…most of the time.This boy is loved, that’s for sure.  And not just by us… and that is comforting on some level.  But the truth is, we just wish there was an answer.

If there is no improvement by February 10th, we’ll probably cut him off his meds and let fate take it’s course.  It may sound horrible (it certainly does to me), but I refuse to string him along for no reason, not to mention waste thousands of dollars to keep him alive for my own personal benefit.  This is not him.  If he starts getting better, I’d risk my arm to make sure he improves, but if he doesn’t?  Keeping him alive, barely…who is that serving?  Certainly we love him too much to be that selfish…we love him way too much.

49 thoughts on “How’s Knox?

  1. I have tears in my eyes as I read this. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. Makes you realize that it could happen to any of our furry friends in an instant. We’re all pulling for Knox and I hope it helps a little knowing how many supporters you have pulling for this guy. And there’s no such thing as too much love!

  2. I am so sorry for you and for Knox. We will continue to hope for a miracle but you should feel good that you are such a loving Dog Mama to Knox. If any of us were him, we would want the same treatment you propose. Let me go if I can no longer be me…right? But stick with me with much love until we know that is the case. You make the world a better place with your loving attitude.

  3. Tears in my eyes reading this, looking at his big eyes. I can’t imagine what it must feel like watching him go through this. But know that you’re in our thoughts and we’re sending out all the positive energy to little Knox. It takes a village, and I think there’s lots of us rooting for him.

  4. Knox has warmed might heart to all things pitbull. He has made a huge change in the lives of everyone he meets. As you know my heart, thoughts, prayers, and everything I have is with you, Knox and Brian. You are incredibly strong for going through what you are going through and Knox is extremely lucky to have wandered into that gas station…zo

  5. Hi-I have been following your blog and adventures for awhile. I am so sorry you are going through this. I lost my first dog in December and the heartbreak is very real. For me it happened in 5 days-and what your going through is likely even more difficult. I have my houses fingers, toes and paws crossed for your family. Whatever happens-you are doing the right thing and no dog was more loved!!

  6. There are really just no words right now…I can’t even begin to imagine what you guys are going through. Dogs are so much more than “pets,” they’re family. Know that we’re all pulling for him and the power of positive thought is a very real thing – I just KNOW he’s going to get better. Keep on doing what you’re doing – you’re strong enough for both you and Knox right now! Big cyber sloppy puppy kisses from Cooper & Oscar, and hugs from me!

  7. Jess I am so sorry. I cannot imagine what you all are going through right now. I don’t even like to think about the day when that decision has to become a reality for us. However, we always tell ourselves that no matter how hard it will be, we know we have given them the very best life they could have ever known. It sounds like though if any body can pull off a miracle it is Knox. We will be sending positive thoughts to you everyday.

  8. I’m so incredibly sorry you’re going through this. I’m just not sure what to say other than that. I often wonder if we’ll face a similar situation in the future with Nemo, so I really sympathize with what you’re going through. Knox is so lucky to have you there with him and I know he feels how strongly you’re trying to help him. You and Knox are in my thoughts and I’ll keep sending you all my positive voo-doo healing vibes his way.

  9. So, after reading about the disease I am wondering what triggered this? From reading it looks like it is a dormant disease until something bigger (cancer, spleen) triggers it. Has Knox had any other issues? Don’t give up on him. As long as he is eating and doing his best then you need to have faith that he will pull through. When you start setting dates for the end (taking him off meds and so forth) you in essence are preparing yourself for a poor outcome and your moods and outlooks change. If Knox senses that you don’t think he will get better, he too will quit fighting. Believe in him and that he is strong and that he will beat this. Keep his mind busy while his body recovers.

    • He hasn’t really…but after the face, his Mange (demodex) did take a lot longer to fix than most dogs (especially at his age when we got him)….it could be autoimmune disease… His spleen is fine, and they have not found any cancer but that doesn’t mean it’s not there. The trigger my have been a round of simpleceff he was on this past november… it supressed his immunesystem and thats probably (again, probably, not totally sure) what started this. ‘Cefa’ drugs can do that.

      The truth is the meds are almost $500/week and thats not including any testing, the two blood transfusions, etc… so we cannot continue his care without any indication he’s improving. Trust me, its not an easy pill to swallow, but we have to try and think clearly with logic. It doesn’t mean I’m giving up yet, it just means we can’t pay 10k for meds to see if he may improve.

  10. I’m so very sorry that you and Knox are going through this! Words seem empty and cheap but please know there are many of us out here rooting for Knox. Many of us have been in similar situations when facing the possibility of letting our beloved pets move on. My heart aches for the pain you are going through and please know that we are all here for you in this trying time. Keeping our paws crossed that Knox turns the corner in these next couple weeks!

    • Knowing that we’re not the first (or the last) to be in this situation really does help. I’m not sure I’ll ever get over this heartache, but words are not cheap… not to me. 🙂 So thank you.

  11. I don’t know what to say but that I’m so sorry you and Knox are going through this. I am thinking good thoughts for Knox and will continue to do so until I read that is on the road to recovery. It hurts my heart when I read of a sick pittie as I know I could just as easily be in your shoes and my heart would be breaking as I’m sure yours is. Knox will get well!

  12. Sending so much love and hope your way. You could always set up a donations page – I would be more than happy to put some money forth to help.

  13. I’m new to your blog but have been pulling for Knox and the family daily. Only you know what’s best for Knox- I’m sure no decision you make is done lightly. But miracles happen all the time- I’ll keep praying for one for you and Knox. I truly hope he pulls through but if not, you have a big community that will be here to help you through. Fingers & paws crossed!

    • p.s. I spent thousands on my pup last year as well and it was so stressful in so many different ways. I would also be eager to help pitch in for Knox (as datewithdivinity suggested) if you’re not ready to call it quits. I know what it feels like to be at a loss and hope for just a little bit more time/cash.

  14. My heart goes out to you and all the positive energy I can muster for Knox. I used to work in a vet hospital, making that decision is hard, but should it come to that, remember that you made it with love.

  15. I just found your blog through a friend on facebook… I’m so sorry to hear that Knox is sick! We’re all praying for him, and keeping fingers and paws crossed that he feels better very soon!

    • Mary, I’m sorry your just finding us under these circumstances… usually we are a very upbeat place to get your pittie-fix! I know your photography well (I believe your right down the street)…please don’t judge mine too harshly 😉

  16. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about Knox and saying a little prayer that he will turn a corner. I know you two are doing everything in your power to do what’s best for him and I will support you no matter what happens. 🙂 Hugs to Knox (and you guys)!

  17. I continue to be so proud of how you and Brian are dealing with the pain of seeing our Knox so seriously impacted by illness right now. You know, I keep telling you that Knox came into your life with a mission – he has helped his mommy to learn so much about the joy of “giving” to others. What a special boy and an important job – thinking he may not be done yet!

  18. Reading this made me get all teary. I know how awful and painful it is to have a sick animal — and especially when you don’t know why. My heart goes out to you and your family, and I will continue to hope with all my might that Knox gets better. Sending love from Chicago ~ Katharine, Zoe, Freddie, and Stella

  19. we’ve been thinking about you all a lot … and know it must be hard, just providing this update. we’ll continue to keep our paws, fingers, and claws crossed … and ivy sends her love to the dog (and foster parents) who first let her be herself!

  20. Cried as I read this…I’m not the most religious person, but I don’t know how else to help other than praying. There is a Jewish prayer/song for healing…I am going to sing it now while thinking of Knox, Brian, and you. The English part is “Bless those in need of healing with…the renewal of body, the renewal of spirit, and let us say, Amen”. Love and hugs…

  21. It would seem Knox is on everyone’s mind and firmly embedded in everyone’s heart! Okay – now is when the word “fight” regarding a pit bull is not a dirty word – Knox will fight to stay with you guys and to get better! In no way would I rule him out at this point, but, that said, I will also say that your love and devotion to Knox couldn’t be any more apparent than when you consider that at some point you may have to step out and let fate step in. That level of selflessness and compassion at the appropriate time, IF necessary, only comes from true love and devotion. While I TRULY think Knox will fight and win, please know that know matter what happens, the gift of love and devotion you have given Knox since the moment he entered your lives is priceless! Also, please know that our hearts walk with yours and we are all here if you need us in any way! Please give Knox a huge kiss for me! I just know he’s going to keep fighting and win!! We love you guys!

  22. I too cried when reading this post and my heart is hurting for sweet Knox and you guys. Praying for healing and strength to Knox’s body.

  23. I’m so sorry for you all, having to see your boy in such rough shape! Last year Skye’s mystery illness made me consider how far is too far, especially financially. I was lucky that she responded to meds and we eventually found out about her autoimmune disorder. All you can do is be there for him and only you know what is best for your dog. We’re still rooting for him, especially since he’s still eating- give him some steak from us!

  24. Jess, one day at a time is all you can do. You and Knox remain in my thoughts and I hope that things improve for this beautiful boy. Hug him, kiss him, love him for all it’s worth! The unconditional love we receive from these wonderful animals never ceases to amaze me, even in their time of need. They deserve every ounce of love and compassion we can give them in return. Hoping that everything works out.

  25. My pack and I will be saying prayers for Knox and your family every day.. I have been in the position you are in and know how hard it is to know you may eventually have to make that decision to stop meds.. Please stay strong and know that so many of us are rooting for you and Knox. I’ve only been following you for a short time but Knox has made me smile on more than one occasion when I really needed it.. Give him some loves for me.

  26. I too feel bad with words and not sure what to say, but do know how many of us are out here thinking of you guys. I can’t imagine how hard this must be, but it is good to know that you are thinking logically. Thinking of you guys….

  27. This breaks my heart and I cannot imagine what I would do if I were in your place. I can only hope that I would handle the situation as lovingly and honestly as you are. Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way.

  28. Mayzie and her mom told us about Knox’s pasiing and I just wanted to let you all know how sorry I am. I know you are beyond heart broken.
    We are thinking of you all during this most difficult time.
    Knox, I know was truly loved and he know it.

    Allison…and Puddles

  29. I’m so sorry to hear about Knox…I hope you remember all of the good times with him and cherish those forever. From a fellow pittie lover (we have a rescue named Athena) I understand how hard it is…

  30. My heart goes out to you both on the death of Knox. Losing a beloved pooch is never easy. Thank you for allowing him to have a loving home before he died. May you find comfort in memories, friends and family.

  31. I’m so sorry about Knox! Losing a dog is a terrible thing to go through. I want to mention, that if you are looking for answers as to what his illness could have been and you haven’t checked into lymes disease yet, it is worth looking into. I only mention it in case having some answers helps you to heal. My sincere condolences.

  32. So very sorry for your loss! May Knox rest in peace. I wish he had found his miracle and been able to stay with you but perhaps his legacy is in all of us uniting for comfort. As one who has been there I say; share and cry as long as you need to and when the time is right you will only smile at his memory.

  33. Pingback: The Wall of Fame | Pittieful Love

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